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Melanie Culotta's avatar

“Ouuuuf” is right. The response from ChatGPT hit me SO hard. I do get into self sabotage mode constantly, and I’m now realizing it’s because I don’t think I’m worthy. I’m a product of alcoholism, mental illness, and physical/emotional abuse and unfortunately this effects of these diseases will always be with me. I stayed in toxic relationships for way too long, and it wasn’t until I stopped playing the victim and realized that I was the common denominator. If I wanted my life situation to change, I had to put in the work on myself. Through a 12 step program I am finally understanding that the only person I have control over is myself. It has changed my life and am in a much healthier place. However, when things start to feel “too good” , boy am I a master at finding ways to cause tension and turmoil. It’s 100% a defense mechanism. Thank you for this and for your vulnerability. It feels amazing to be seen and heard, and I am so grateful the reminder that I am worthy of love and joy (literally) no matter what. 🫶🏼

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Alice's avatar

So much in here hit… especially the part about getting grumpy right after naming how good things are. That one’s sneaky. I’ve seen it a lot post-journey too—like some old version of us gets scared it might be safe to let things be good. The ego’s kink is wild.

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