The joys and spells of sensitivity

A tale of dandelions, orchids, addicts, and artists

Julia Christina

Jan 12, 2024

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“Are you kidding me?”

My boyfriend stared at me, astonished, barely able to hide his grin.

“What?”

As the shock faded, I couldn’t hold back a laugh, either.

I’d just survived the perhaps biggest startle of my life. It was a weekday night and we were peacefully watching Brit Marling’s new show, A Murder at the End of the World. Peacefully, that is, until the victim’s hand, coming out of nowhere, slapped against the window through which we were observing the murder scene.

That’s all it took. That’s all it took to send me. A hand against a window, amplified by a suspenseful, dramatic score. I let out an involuntary scream. As my boyfriend reported, I also shook my legs as if I were a little squirrel who’d just escaped a deadly chase. Our dogs jumped up, deeply concerned. My scream echoed silently in the room. My entire being was activated. I only calmed down once my adrenaline dumped.

“You’re too sensitive for this world.”

Normally, I’d know better than to watch anything scary or startling, but this was Brit Marling, and we were early on in the show which hadn’t unveiled its scary nature yet.

A few years earlier, being called “too sensitive for this world” may have triggered a shame spiral. Not now, though. Now, I wear my sensitivity like a crown. It may make living in this world more challenging but I intuitively know it’s my superpower. Even if I don’t understand entirely what that means yet.

Around 15-20% of the population is born with a nervous system genetically designed to be more sensitive. This heightened sensitivity results in deeper cognitive processing of physical, social, and emotional stimuli. In the 1990s, Elaine N. Aron coined the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) for people who exemplify this trait. It was the beginning of a movement that continued to evolve over the years, reaching the masses with

Susan Cain

’s mega-viral TED talk on the power of introversion.

The gift that the work of Elaine and Susan gave me (and so many others) is that of permission. If you’re deeply sensitive and introverted (not the same, but certainly overlapping), it does not mean you’re weird, inferior, too much, or too little for this world. You have permission to be exactly as you are, and you have permission to design a life for yourself that tends to your nature. Even if that means some of it will differ from the norm. You’re the architect of your world. Design the house you want to live in, and, if all you want to do is stay in it, then please, do so.

Are you highly sensitive?

The impacts of a sensitive nervous system are both a blessing and a curse. If you’re wondering now if you fall into the category of highly sensitive people, here are some tell-tale signs:

You need a lot of quiet time, especially after days filled with activities.
You feel drained after social events, even enjoyable ones.
You often daydream and have a vivid imagination.
You dislike small talk and prefer deep, meaningful conversations.
You have a few close, intimate friendships rather than many surface-level connections.
You process things deeply and frequently ponder life's big questions.
You’re easily overwhelmed by sensory input, such as loud noises, chaotic environments, harsh lighting, and strong smells.
You startle easily.
You avoid violent TV shows, movies, or news stories and are easily upset by negative media or stories of tragedy.
You’re easily rattled when having too much to do in a short amount of time.
You’re deeply moved by art, music, or creative expression.
You struggle to make decisions, especially when there are too many options or potential outcomes.
You have a low pain threshold and may be more sensitive to medication or caffeine.
You find peace and comfort in nature or natural settings.
You may feel others' emotions as if they are your own, which also makes you an empath (I will write about this separately in the future).

How many of those traits did you recognize in yourself? Let’s do a little poll, I’d be curious to learn how many of you self-identify as HSPs. (I suspect it will be more than 20%, given the nature of The Journey’s themes.)

For the full quiz, you can read Elaine’s book or do the online version.

So, for all my fellow sensitive souls, what now? What does this mean? How does this relate to the journey inward, the work with medicines, the work of returning to yourself?

What psychedelics have taught me about the relationship between sensitivity, addiction, and creativity

Honoring and harnessing my sensitivity has been a big part of my psychedelic integration. Before I came to psychedelic medicines, I was under the impression that I simply didn’t feel much. The reality, of course, was the opposite — I was deeply sensitive. Because I never learned to cope with this sensitivity and grew up with the belief that it was not safe to feel, I disconnected from my essence and developed an eating disorder to cope.

Through the process of recovering my true, sensitive nature, a path for which psychedelics provided the map, I opened up to the parts of me that feel deeply. My recovery taught me that at the core of addiction, there’s often a deeply sensitive soul who grew up without the skills to cope emotionally. Addiction is the product of unprocessed trauma which results in trapped emotions and subconscious beliefs that disconnect you from your heart, the organ of your sensitivity. Without this connection, coping emotionally becomes impossible. Addiction is the most extreme way to deal with disowned sensitivity. The other extreme, the ability to harness your sensitivity masterfully, is art.

“The difference between passion and addiction is that between a divine spark and a flame that incinerates (…). Passion creates, addiction consumes. ” — Gabor Maté

It’s not black-and-white, though, which is why so many artists also struggle with addiction. Ibogaine reminded me that sensitive people have the loudest minds, due to their capacity for deep processing and observation, which is why they’re more prone to numb. Channeling your sensitivity into art is the healthiest way to cope with an existence that otherwise can be too intimidating, painful, and overwhelming. You think you’re alone in it, but then others who are like you create art that “strikes you with the shock of recognition”, as noted in A Course in Miracles.

Orchids vs. dandelions

There’s beautiful research on sensitivity from professor Dr. W. Thomas Boyce at the University of California, San Francisco. His theory posits that most children, like dandelions, are resilient and can thrive in various environments, while a smaller group, akin to orchids, are more sensitive and react more intensely to their surroundings. Orchid children flourish in supportive environments but are more prone to struggle in adverse ones. This concept helps explain why certain children respond differently to trauma than others.12 It’s also an invitation for parents to attune to the unique needs of their children. Around 15-20% of the children in Boyce’s research qualified as orchids, a number that you may already be familiar with now.

This concept has impacted and guided me so much that last summer, as a celebration of my recovery, I got a tattoo in its reference. It’s a delicate hummingbird on my inner arm that faces a branch of orchids. The hummingbird symbolizes freedom and the orchids symbolize my sensitivity. The key to my freedom lies in honoring, nurturing, and cultivating my sensitivity. This is what my recovery hinges on. Simple (but not easy).

How to embrace and foster your sensitivity

Recognizing your sensitive nature and creating a life that honors and nurtures it hinges on reflection and integration.

To reflect, I’d invite you to ponder the following questions:

How has your sensitive nature shaped you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? Are you holding on to any shame related to how you show up in the world?
What activities drain you most, at work and in your personal life? How can you minimize them and replace them with activities that energize you?
What settings and situations do you feel most overwhelmed in? Which of those can be eliminated or minimized?
How do you manage the overwhelm? Do you revert to unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb or check out?
How can you practice deepening into your sensitivity and expressing it, rather than numbing or escaping from it? What creative, expressive, or intuitive activities may help you embody flow?
Where do you need to set more boundaries to support your sensitive nature?

The work of integration then comes down to developing habits, boundaries, and structures in your life that support and nourish you.

My life has become indefinitely richer since I made the conscious choice to tend to my orchid nature. Here are five big and small changes I’ve made that have made a lasting difference:

I quit most stimulants, most notably caffeine and alcohol (it’s helped me so much in staying connected to my authentic self that I effortlessly stick with it).
I integrated expressive practices into my daily routines, such as writing, as well as habits that connect me with my heart space, such as intuitive dance and chanting.
During the pandemic, I realized how much I preferred working from home (less stimulation) which is the setup I’ve chosen to stick with post-pandemic.
I also transitioned my career from the high-stress environment of strategy consulting to the spirituality/non-profit world.
I diligently prioritize socializing in small group settings or one-on-one (my favorite) and avoid big gatherings in overstimulating environments, which are especially draining sober (without alcohol overriding my inner system, I often feel the urge to leave early, and so I let myself.)