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Trouble finding Ibogaine in the US and the Mexican clinics seem so shady and beyond $$ reach. :(

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The options are not great :( There is another Mexican clinic called Ambio that comes highly recommended, it is a bit cheaper than Beond but still a lot of money.

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If you believed that you were not flawed or were absent of flaws what might that be like? What if there were no better or worse? Just "what is"? In an instant right now.

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While I've found this notion easy to conceptualize, I've found it much harder to embody, especially when you're in the midst of it. For those that have suffered trauma in early childhood, there will always be a part that holds the belief that we're flawed. While my adult self may know that that's not true, trying to convince my younger parts and change their beliefs has (practically) been less helpful than extending compassion and acceptance to the parts that hold those beliefs, and re-affirming what is also true (there are now flaws). Holding those polarities is where I've personally found most freedom.

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What do you mean by “freedom”? Is there a “freedom” absent from or beyond the current constructs of your thinking?

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That's a great question. Freedom for mostly means being at peace with what is, both within and around me. I am not sure I understand your second question. Can you elaborate?

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My question wasn't very clear was it? Fuzzy thinking, fuzzy questions. What I am asking is whether or not "what is" can be experienced through the field of thought or what we know. You mentioned "peace" and/or freedom from letting polarities stand. My sense is that examination of polarities, indeed trauma, are fragments of thought that stand in the way of "what is". Krishnamurti's words to describe this are "choiceless awareness". "Freedom" of this kind is freedom "from" choice rather than freedom "of" choice as I understand it. Choice implies conflict that arises from thought and time. My question is "Have you ever experienced action emanating directly w/o thought?

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Ah, I see what you mean. Thanks for clarifying. Yes, I have experienced this state in different variations over the years. While I'm able to tap into it, it is unfortunately not the natural state of my mind, which likes to judge and overthink 🙃. I've found it more practical to work towards making peace with the mind's contents, rather than aspiring to transcend it (most of the time, at least).

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Do you recall any of the different variations in "this state"? What was going on? What were they like?

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This reminder is great. My last thought was also about keto. I came close to downloading a tracker app, but stopped short. I’m too busy living myself for that bullshit!

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Hi Jennifer, oh thank god. Our bodies know best what they want and need, if we let them guide us. But the ego just keeps intervening. I'm glad you didn't let it hijack you :-)

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