I did 8 ceremonies over 2 weeks. I was with my 2 adult children, who did have life-changing experiences there, but even as i took increasingly larger amounts of the medicine, it never did much except maybe make me feel a little tipsy, and of course throw up. There was one other participant there who had already been there for a couple of weeks before we arrived and he was also strangely immune. He’s the one who invited me down to Mexico to experience bufo because he thought it would work for me and it did. The first time was quite profound, like leaving the body and experiencing unity with the universe. I saw a dazzling white light, which i imagined was what people who have near death experiences see. The second time the shaman gave me a smaller dose as he wanted me to stay more aware of the surroundings. It wasn’t as profound as a result, but still illuminating. My friend took a video and when i watched it later i was surprised by how long i stayed upright, i had thought i laid down right away.
Wow, I love that you went with your children. That must have been such a bonding experience. Thanks for sharing about your Bufo journey. Sounds very profound. I've never done smaller doses, curious how those feel! My experience also felt similar to what people describe in NDEs.
Way to leave us hanging... I'm definitely ready for part 2. Psychedelics have played such a huge role in my healing journey, but never came across the toad yet!
This gave me chills, thank you. The 'place' you entered (I call it The Void) reminds me a lot of my experiences during ketamine therapy sessions. May we all remember.
I have participated in two Bufo ceremonies, each time taking two journeys with the medicine. The last one was the most ecstatic experience I've ever had. However, in the days and weeks following I fell back into depression, unable to conjur or maintain that episode of pure beauty. The world is such an unpleasant place. After 6 months away from the medicine I am returning to it this month and hope I can better integrate my experience. I don't need to feel blissful every moment, but I do want to feel that it's all worthwhile, despite the challenges around us.
"the world is such an unpleasant place" made my heart ache a little... I'd be curious what you believe kept you from integrating it properly?
Have a beautiful journey! I'm so curious to hear how it goes, and let me know if you need any support with integration - I'm quite passionate about it.
Thank you for responding, Chistina. My failure to integrate was an oversight on my part. After my first ceremony, I took a couple of days off for reflection and journaling and it made a big difference. However, since there were no apparent negative or physical or cognitive aftereffects, I chose not to take that time after the second ceremony. I had the day after free, and journaled my experience, but really did not sit with it and let it permeate my mind and spirit. I won't make that mistake again! I do have to work within the restrictions of my professional obligations and schedule, which can be demanding, but I also see my work in hospice as a spiritual practice. Except for all the driving, paperwork and meetings, the work is a joy! I'll cue up my Ram Dass podcasts and calming music to keep me grounded and off the radio and internet for a few days. I won't take it for granted this time. In looking back on the months since my first two ceremonies, I do feel there have been subtle, but significant, changes in my thinking and my attachments, all for the good.
Haha thanks Toni but keep in mind I have been writing down my journeys for almost 4 years now! Definitely took me a lot of practice (and still learning)... what kind of writing class are you taking?
1. Thank you for the incredibly kind words, the little blogger in me who posted Medium stories with poor prose into the void five years ago is jumping up and down
2. The universe is right! It's just practice. Lots and lots of words. You will be able to create what you want to create it just takes time. I like rewatching this every once in a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91FQKciKfHI
my experience w Bufo was the antithesis of bliss. i did not meet God, i met Ereshkigal, the Dark Goddess and Lord of the Underworld… i witnessed my delivery, the trauma that was my birth, and the pain my Parents and infant self experienced. held the hands of both my sitters the entire time, aching for “it” (the trip) to be over, while realizing i never wanted to do “it” (incarnate) in the first place; i came bc i had to, and “it” was my life. i saw i that i hadn’t really lived bc i was soooo busy waiting for “it” to be over.
My sense is that when we work with these high vibratory medicines they tend to bring the more dense aspects of our life’s experience to consciousness for the purpose of healing.
Absolutely! It is very common with this medicine that people do not "break through" and instead get stuck in the void, stamping it off as a terrifying experience they'll never do again. But the duality between breakthrough vs terror is also an illusion. Your experience, Becky, illustrates that even darker journeys can produce profound (and valuable insight). I'm curious what you took away from the experience / how it impacted your life after?
Julia, Bufo healed my birth trauma; it gave me the capacity to witness MYSELF, and the depth of my own pain and grief. i connected to the Divine Masculine. it also called forth compassion for my Parents — i had never considered how it felt for them to navigate the experience… it’s sorta like cracking open to let more light in, then being turned inside out: where i was once quite self-involved, constantly introspecting for the sake of healing, i am now more connected to the outward, lived experience, more effectively empathizing w others vs. taking on their energy or projecting my emotions…. which is a result of slowly shifting my attachment style while learning to meet my own needs.
I live in LA and have gone to Peru for a 2 week ayahuasca retreat, but I am sadly somehow immune to ayahuasca. I did go to Mexico earlier this year and met a shaman who gave me bufo twice, but I would love to meet Barb and do it again here in LA.
Hi Stephanie oh cool you're in LA too! What do you mean by "immune" to aya? How many ceremonies have you done? (It took me a few ceremonies to feel something)
How did your Bufo experience go? Barb is actually in the Bay area but comes done here every once in a while, happy to make the connection if you like.
Great read! Can't wait for part 2.
Thank you!! 😚
I did 8 ceremonies over 2 weeks. I was with my 2 adult children, who did have life-changing experiences there, but even as i took increasingly larger amounts of the medicine, it never did much except maybe make me feel a little tipsy, and of course throw up. There was one other participant there who had already been there for a couple of weeks before we arrived and he was also strangely immune. He’s the one who invited me down to Mexico to experience bufo because he thought it would work for me and it did. The first time was quite profound, like leaving the body and experiencing unity with the universe. I saw a dazzling white light, which i imagined was what people who have near death experiences see. The second time the shaman gave me a smaller dose as he wanted me to stay more aware of the surroundings. It wasn’t as profound as a result, but still illuminating. My friend took a video and when i watched it later i was surprised by how long i stayed upright, i had thought i laid down right away.
Wow, I love that you went with your children. That must have been such a bonding experience. Thanks for sharing about your Bufo journey. Sounds very profound. I've never done smaller doses, curious how those feel! My experience also felt similar to what people describe in NDEs.
Not for the faint of heart, I have heard. Eager to read part 2.
Definitely not... 😅
Way to leave us hanging... I'm definitely ready for part 2. Psychedelics have played such a huge role in my healing journey, but never came across the toad yet!
It’s coming tomorrow!!! :) What medicines have had the biggest impact on you?
Beautifully written and illuminating narrative. Barb sounds like a wonderful guide!
Thank you so much! She is one of a kind 😇
Is it 2 weeks yet? Need part 2 please and thank you!
Almost half way 😅 coming soon!!
This gave me chills, thank you. The 'place' you entered (I call it The Void) reminds me a lot of my experiences during ketamine therapy sessions. May we all remember.
Thanks for the kind words, Derek! Incredible that you can get there with Ketamine. That is a medicine I have yet to try
oh my GOD. Please don't keep us waiting for two whole weeks!!!!
I’m sorry hehe but I was afraid if it’s too long people won’t read it! Popcorn brain and all that you know
Julia, trust me, NO ONE would have stopped at that point if they could’ve read on!! But I’ll bide my time…….
Beautifully written 🙌
Thanks so much 🙏
Waiting is the hardest part.
I have participated in two Bufo ceremonies, each time taking two journeys with the medicine. The last one was the most ecstatic experience I've ever had. However, in the days and weeks following I fell back into depression, unable to conjur or maintain that episode of pure beauty. The world is such an unpleasant place. After 6 months away from the medicine I am returning to it this month and hope I can better integrate my experience. I don't need to feel blissful every moment, but I do want to feel that it's all worthwhile, despite the challenges around us.
"the world is such an unpleasant place" made my heart ache a little... I'd be curious what you believe kept you from integrating it properly?
Have a beautiful journey! I'm so curious to hear how it goes, and let me know if you need any support with integration - I'm quite passionate about it.
Thank you for responding, Chistina. My failure to integrate was an oversight on my part. After my first ceremony, I took a couple of days off for reflection and journaling and it made a big difference. However, since there were no apparent negative or physical or cognitive aftereffects, I chose not to take that time after the second ceremony. I had the day after free, and journaled my experience, but really did not sit with it and let it permeate my mind and spirit. I won't make that mistake again! I do have to work within the restrictions of my professional obligations and schedule, which can be demanding, but I also see my work in hospice as a spiritual practice. Except for all the driving, paperwork and meetings, the work is a joy! I'll cue up my Ram Dass podcasts and calming music to keep me grounded and off the radio and internet for a few days. I won't take it for granted this time. In looking back on the months since my first two ceremonies, I do feel there have been subtle, but significant, changes in my thinking and my attachments, all for the good.
This is fantastic. 40 years after larking about with shrooms & acid as a silly 17 year old, this is what I should have known then. Hey ho.
I always wonder how it alters people's lives to encounter medicines early in life (I found it in my late 20s). Did it have a big impact on your path?
Wow. I just wrote up my January psilocybin journey for my writing class and it is boring compared to this! Looking forward to your next chapter.
Haha thanks Toni but keep in mind I have been writing down my journeys for almost 4 years now! Definitely took me a lot of practice (and still learning)... what kind of writing class are you taking?
This is sooooo good that right after I finished reading it I flipped a coin:
Heads: Give up writing now.
Tails: Strive be able to produce this kind of art in the future.
It was tails 😅
Ryan!!!
1. Thank you for the incredibly kind words, the little blogger in me who posted Medium stories with poor prose into the void five years ago is jumping up and down
2. The universe is right! It's just practice. Lots and lots of words. You will be able to create what you want to create it just takes time. I like rewatching this every once in a while: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91FQKciKfHI
Just watched the video and this is exactly it Julia, just what I needed - thanks :)
my experience w Bufo was the antithesis of bliss. i did not meet God, i met Ereshkigal, the Dark Goddess and Lord of the Underworld… i witnessed my delivery, the trauma that was my birth, and the pain my Parents and infant self experienced. held the hands of both my sitters the entire time, aching for “it” (the trip) to be over, while realizing i never wanted to do “it” (incarnate) in the first place; i came bc i had to, and “it” was my life. i saw i that i hadn’t really lived bc i was soooo busy waiting for “it” to be over.
My sense is that when we work with these high vibratory medicines they tend to bring the more dense aspects of our life’s experience to consciousness for the purpose of healing.
Absolutely! It is very common with this medicine that people do not "break through" and instead get stuck in the void, stamping it off as a terrifying experience they'll never do again. But the duality between breakthrough vs terror is also an illusion. Your experience, Becky, illustrates that even darker journeys can produce profound (and valuable insight). I'm curious what you took away from the experience / how it impacted your life after?
Julia, Bufo healed my birth trauma; it gave me the capacity to witness MYSELF, and the depth of my own pain and grief. i connected to the Divine Masculine. it also called forth compassion for my Parents — i had never considered how it felt for them to navigate the experience… it’s sorta like cracking open to let more light in, then being turned inside out: where i was once quite self-involved, constantly introspecting for the sake of healing, i am now more connected to the outward, lived experience, more effectively empathizing w others vs. taking on their energy or projecting my emotions…. which is a result of slowly shifting my attachment style while learning to meet my own needs.
a LOT. i got A LOT from Bufo 🙏🏼🐸
wow incredible!!! thanks for sharing 😍
I live in LA and have gone to Peru for a 2 week ayahuasca retreat, but I am sadly somehow immune to ayahuasca. I did go to Mexico earlier this year and met a shaman who gave me bufo twice, but I would love to meet Barb and do it again here in LA.
Hi Stephanie oh cool you're in LA too! What do you mean by "immune" to aya? How many ceremonies have you done? (It took me a few ceremonies to feel something)
How did your Bufo experience go? Barb is actually in the Bay area but comes done here every once in a while, happy to make the connection if you like.