Taming the delusions of the craving mind
How to resolve the tension between being present and building your future
A friend called me up a few weeks ago after reading about my recent mushroom journey. “I had a very similar experience”, he told me. He, too, was reminded of the importance of living in the present moment. The importance of tending to your inner landscape.
“But there’s so much going on in my life right now, so many uncertainties, things I need to work towards. How do I justify making time for inner work?”
They’re valid questions. When your outer world is in flux, it can seem indulgent to dedicate your time to inner work. It can wait, you think. Let me first get my life in order.
I’d like to argue that it can’t wait and that your inner world is the single most important factor determining your outer world. Because of that, you're always better off prioritizing inner work. I’ll also share a simple inquiry that can help you merge the practice of daily presence with your future desires, vision, and objectives.
The perils of excessive seeking
Here’s what your mind is likely telling you: Whatever it is that you need, you need it now. It’s a priority that demands your attention. Because the mind loves black-and-white thinking, it likes to convince you that once you have that thing, everything else will fall into place.
My mind has told me many things over the years, each with deep conviction. You need this specific job. You need to graduate from this school. You need this certification. You need this type of home, this type of relationship.
The delusion of attachment is the underlying belief that a change in external circumstances will result in a change in internal circumstances. It’s the mind’s natural tendency to crave and attach contentment to future outcomes. If you get [whatever it is that you’re seeking], you will finally feel [whatever it is that you want to feel]. Every human is prone to these thought patterns, except maybe the Buddha.
The Buddha teaches us that this logic is flawed. What happens, in reality, is that whatever satisfaction you receive from getting what you were striving for won’t last. You end up feeling the same lack that was the root of your striving to begin with (only now you’ve wasted hundreds or thousands of hours, sometimes even a lifetime, avoiding the real roots of your suffering).
“I climbed a mountain this week”, my friend told me over the phone. “I looked at the snow-capped peak and set it as my target. I tracked up, made detours, and had to regroup to figure out the best route. But eventually, I got there.”
What do you think he found at the top of the mountain?
“I felt accomplished, but only for a brief moment. I realized that I enjoyed the journey of getting to the peak much more than actually reaching it.”
A simple practice to presence yourself while building the foundation for your future
As long as there is dissatisfaction within, no external factors will sustainably change how you feel. That’s why many who reach outerworldy success become miserable at the peak of their achievements. You feel you’ve been tricked. If this won’t change your state and make you happy, what will?
The solution is to change the quality of your mind and practice non-attachment.
Further, once you recognize that the external reality is a mirror of your internal world, you realize that the most effective thing you can do to improve your outer world is to do this inner work.
Here’s a simple inquiry that can help you break the pattern of attachment:
What is it that you want for your future? What is your mind telling you you need to have or achieve to be happy?
Why do you want it? What is the underlying lack or need it is promising to meet? How do you imagine it will make you feel?
Where do you already experience this feeling? Once you identified your core desired feeling(s), ask yourself: Where do you already feel this way? Which activities or relationships already make you feel [whatever it is you desire to feel]?
Practice awareness and gratitude. Once you identified the above, make an intentional effort to (a) increase your awareness of when you’re feeling your core desired feeling, (b) lean further into the things that already make you feel this way, and (c) cultivate gratitude for where and when you already have this feeling.
Congratulations, you’ve just learned how to manifest. But I’d never call it that, of course, because manifestation is a gravely overused, simplified, and clickbaity word. It is, however, how I’ve come to believe the universe works.
Like attracts like. You get things by cultivating gratitude for already having them, and it’s not things but feelings, because the universe’s currency is not material but energetic.
If your energy, emotions, and thoughts are focused on wanting something, the universe will mirror back the experience of wanting (but not getting it) to you.
I don’t have scientific proof for you and am skeptical of anyone using pseudoscience to claim we understand why and how this works (something about the quantum field, right). All I have is personal experience. This approach helped me attract the perfect job I didn’t even know existed (without looking or recruiting for it) and meet the partner of my dreams (after going on one app date). So, why not try? You have nothing to lose. You, too, may find that the universe conspires to support you.
Most importantly, this approach is a win-win: cultivating presence, awareness, and gratitude will make you more content in the present. Any manifestations that stem from it are just the cherry on top.
〰️ If you’re curious to learn more about Buddhism, you can read this book to understand “why Buddhism is true”
〰️ For guidance on how to cultivate presence I’ve recently returned to the writings of Michael Singer, this is my all-time favorite “spiritual” book
〰️ This read is a classic laying out the basics of the law of attraction (it is channeled though, if that throughs you off you may be better off reading this)
〰️ Eckhart Tolle offers a perspective on how present-day awareness is the key to fulfilling your life’s purpose
“Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want." — Naval Ravikant
«Like attracts like. You get things by cultivating gratitude for already having them, and it’s not things but feelings, because the universe’s currency is not material but energetic.»
Time and time again, life has proved to me that this is true, but somehow I keep forgetting it. Thank you for the reminder!