Here’s an inevitable byproduct of inner work that nobody warned you about: you become more sensitive.
As you move through the layers of the mind, the world reaches into you again with its long and lively arms. This can be wonderful and exhausting. Tears pour more easily. Joy bubbles up more liberally. Awe stops you in your tracks more frequently. Pain carves through you more deeply. It’s more of all of it.
When you chip away all that you are not, you will find your original sensing capacities waiting for you. Unless you are part of the rare breed that remained open, you will also likely find that you are grossly unprepared to master life in light of this predicament. Nobody teaches you. The world is designed to overstimulate and numb you, to develop the mind, not the senses. What now?
I’ve spent the past few years befriending my sensitivity: I devoured books, tried all the practices, studied somatic therapy and even went to energy school all to get a grasp on the ever-dissolving border between me and the world. As a very sober and very sensitive person with few remaining avenues for escape, I want to share a few genuine recommendations that have gotten me through this journey of opening.
Think of this as a survival kit for the highly sensitive — part gift guide, part how-to manual. While some recommendations involve a purchase, many of them do not, so don’t let the cute collage shy you away.
P.S. These are unsponsored, tried-and-true recommendations without affiliation (with the exception of the app I co-created, Atoon). If you want to support my work, you can do so by becoming a paid subscriber for $5/month.
Who is this for?
This is for the person who cries at every wedding, even if they barely know the bride or groom. It’s for the person who can’t watch anything scary because their startles (which come easy) startle everyone else (there have been complaints).
It’s for the person who has to look away when someone is getting hurt because they get a wave of shivers in their own body. The person who can’t stomach stress or urgency without a trip down fight-or-flight survival lane.
It’s for the person who leaves social gatherings early, avoids loud spaces, and is moved deeply by art, music, and beauty. The person who thinks they have an “addictive personality” because numbing agents have helped them blunt their sensitivity just enough to function. The person who is creating art — or knows they’re meant to.
Is that you? If so, welcome to the world of the HSP (Highly Sensitive Person).
HSPs are a subset of the population (up to 30%) high in a trait called sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS). High levels of SPS manifest as heightened emotional sensitivity, stronger reactivity to both external and internal stimuli (pain, hunger, light, and noise), and a complex inner life. HSPs are not just “more emotional”, their brains literally react more deeply to stimuli, which translates to a more sensitive nervous system.
HSPs are not the same as empaths: some HSPs are empaths, but all empaths are HSPs. So, if you consider yourself an empath, this will be just as helpful for you.
First, you must learn to ground yourself
The purpose of grounding is to center yourself and “return to your energy” when too many stimuli have penetrated the border of your being. It’s simple enough but works.
You can ground through seated, closed-eye mini-meditations with your feet flat (key!), visualizing roots, a tree trunk, or an anchor growing from your sacrum down into the earth. You can walk barefoot, sit, or lie down in direct connection with the earth. You can apply weight such as (1) sandbags on your hands or hips while sprawled over a bolster in a yummy restorative yoga pose. Even better, if available, ask somebody (not anybody) to lie on you. I recommend at least 150 pounds (the more the better) and perfect alignment head to toes. It may sound silly and my boyfriend has made fun of me numerous times for this request but trust me it won’t feel so silly when you feel your whole system relax within seconds. A few minutes of (2) immersive music with a (3) weighted eye mask also do wonders.
Water is your go to reset
Water is one of the easiest ways to reset your system. Showers are a cleansing ritual that can help you quickly return to your own energy, especially after socializing. Soaking yourself in (4) Epsom salt baths adds an element of restoration. Bonus points if you replace artificial light with candles and leave your phone outside the bathroom.
If you want to combine water and grounding, here’s one of the best hacks I learned in energy school: When you take a bath, stay in as you let the water drain until the very last bit of water is gone. Pay attention to the sensations in your body as the water pulls you down. If you don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like when you are grounded, you will after trying this.
Your journal is your best friend
Sensitive people have vivid inner worlds and loud minds. You observe more, which means you have to digest more. Without the pressure of turning your inner life into art, your journal is the best place to process and brain dump. Get things out of your head and onto the page so you don’t spend your days ruminating and pondering.
I recommend Morning Pages from the (5) The Artist’s Way, which are two pages of stream of consciousness journaling first thing in the morning. I recently invested in a high-quality, leather traveler’s notebook from (6) Paper Republic, which is an artisan journal maker from my hometown Vienna. The journal can be customized with ribbons and cute charms (which I ordered from this Etsy store) if you’re into that.
You have to do something about the noise
As a sensitive person living in a noisy world, I have two best friends: My (7) loop earplugs which look like jewelry (they also have transparent ones) and my noise cancelling headphones (I use (8) Apple AirPods but there are also cheaper ones).
I don’t leave the house without at least one of them. Whether I travel, run errands, work from a coffee shop, or frequent any busy area — eliminating noise pollution makes a huge difference in dialing down the volume of the world. When you reduce the input from one of your five glorious senses you create space to be present with the other four.
Be extra intentional about your media diet
This is a gold mine if you commit. Daily news is an absolute no go for me. Not because I don’t care, but because I care too much. I happily accept the downsides of being less informed for the immense upside of personal peace.
When I consume news I do so on occasion and with intention, reading newspapers or articles, preferably in print, rather than the emotionally-charged and often fear-driven storytelling on social media and TV. This way, I choose when I’m in the headspace to be with the aches of the world — not when my phone or feeds decide for me.
Similarly, social media affects you more the more sensitive you are. After trying a bunch of screen blockers, I recommend the (9) Brick as the most effective solution. It’s a physical phone blocker stuck to my fridge, which prevents me from accessing all social media apps plus e-mail unless I’m “unbricked”. Constant email checking is just another form of escape that adds unnecessary stimulation and distraction. Keep most work and personal email to your laptop if you can.
Extended breaks from external stimulation are critical for sensitives to help make space for the aliveness that awaits within. In addition to moderating your media consumption, months-long breaks make a real difference.
Move in ways that support your body
Shifting my exercise routine from high intensity to low impact has made a huge impact on my health and well-being. If your nervous system is sensitive, circuit training and HIIT, running and sprinting, or even doing so in a clubby environment with blasting music (which I unbelievably did for many years at Barry’s Bootcamp) is not going to serve you in the long run. Especially for women, excessive exercise can activate chronic survival states, which in turn will negatively impact your health and may even inadvertently make your body hold on to extra weight.
My movement now revolves around pilates, yoga, and walks. Although I am most definitely burning way fewer calories than I used to, I have never felt healthier, fitter, and more balanced. Low impact is where it’s at.
Learn to regulate your nervous system
As a sensitive person you are always in the business of managing your energy. If you’re stressed and overwhelmed, grounding, breathwork and restorative yoga can help you down-regulate. If you are frustrated and angry, you’re better off somatically releasing the energy that’s moving through you rather than pushing it down. Your future self will thank you.
My go to way to do this is to put on some music and shake it off through non-linear, intuitive movement. (We have a toon specifically for this in the app called Release.) (10) This book shares a wealth of other practices for nervous system regulation depending on your state and needs, such as humming (another favorite).
I’ve recently gotten into float tanks, and while they are not super accessible the concept of removing as much external stimulation as possible is still valuable. How can you remove stimulation from activities? For example, going on a walk or hike in nature without music or a podcast. Listening to a piece of music you love with eyes closed. Taking a few moments in the bathtub after you’ve blown out the candle soaking in the darkness.
The most regulating thing you can do to honor your sensitivity is commune with nature. This includes animal life. If you don’t already have a pet I highly suggest you consider getting one. It makes a world of difference.
Socialize in a way that energizes you
I’ve come to peace with the fact that I can no longer socialize in the ways that I used to. Intimate gatherings have replaced big group outings. Hikes, lunches, and coffee dates have largely replaced late-night dinners at loud restaurants. Socializing one-on-one in a quiet setting is the gold standard now, because it allows me to be fully present.
Whether socializing drains or energizes you not only depends on the setting but also on the nature of the conversation. If you’re networking and small talking, your batteries will deplete quicker. At bigger gatherings, I prefer to have a handful of meaningful, longer conversations rather than surface level interactions with ten different people.
I’m also a big fan of time boxing, either in your head or explicitly communicated. This can look like having a start and end time when you invite people over and communicating your cutoff ahead of time. It can also look like giving a heads up three quarters through when you notice your energy dipping, and sharing that you’ll need to leave soon. There’s nothing more draining than putting on a smile and trying to listen with presence when your battery is on red. Lastly, make sure to gift yourself guilt-free and intentional decompression after big social outings.
Reconsider stimulants like alcohol and caffeine
It is my belief that sensitive people are better off limiting stimulants. At the same time, HSPs are more prone to find comfort in them. For decades, I was an enthusiastic drinker. I loved drinking because in a twisted way it actually helped me be more present: it dialed down the volume on my environment just enough so I could enjoy myself more in social settings. However, it also led to me overriding my body’s signals: instead of going home when my system had enough, I’d stay and drain the battery even more, paying for it the next day(s).
If moderation works for you that’s great — it didn’t for me. After becoming so sensitive that even half a glass of wine would turn me into a sloth the next day, I conceded and happily gave up drinking for good. I honestly don’t miss it one bit. There are some great alcohol-free alternatives (and many awful ones), my favorites are the (11) Ghia Apéritif and the (12) Wollfer Estate Non-Alcoholic sparkling rose.
Being sober and sensitive is not an easy existence but a rewarding one, because it forces you to be perpetually in sync with where you’re at. This applies not only to alcohol but also caffeine. Every time I return to caffeine without a built-up tolerance, my heart beats like crazy, anxious energy rises in my body, and my sleep suffers. The grass has been greener as a decaf girl: My energy is more stable. I wake up feeling ready to go. Again, I don’t override my system. I listen.
Find an outlet for creative expression
There’s a saying that the final stage of healing is becoming an artist and I don’t disagree. The more inner work you do, the more you open up to the world. You become more present. You regain your imagination. You return to your creativity.
The Artist’s Way is a great resource for this journey. Find a way to express yourself, any way, and it might save you. As Susan Cain says: Whatever pain you can’t get rid off, make it your creative offering.
The act of creation is first and foremost for you, for the expression of your unique soul, for your personal satisfaction — which will increase if you learn to create more than you consume. This is your gift as a sensitive person. Wedding your sensitivity puts you in a perfect position to give birth to beautiful art. Make something, anything, and don’t worry about making it good or sharing it broadly. Make it for yourself first, make the truest thing you can make, and everything else will follow.
The greatest gift
Being highly sensitive is a blessing and a curse. Managing this depth of processing is a learning curve, but the more you master it the more perceptive, empathetic, and creative you become.
Learning to thrive not despite but in light of your sensitivity is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. Your sensitivity is what makes you uniquely human, which in the age of AI is ever more relevant.
Your senses are your portal into presence, and so the more you sense the more you’re here. Growth comes from expanding your capacity to be with what’s here.
I say this now, a little out of breath and with a few grey hairs and a few sore spots, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Do you have any recommendations to add to this list? If so, please share!
More from my universe
Download Atoon for immersive journeys to transcend your mind and feel more
Get on the waitlist for upcoming yoga and medicine retreats
Download my free psychedelics beginners guide or integration workbook
This resonates, deeply and gently 💙
Alcohol is categorically not a stimulant.