Is social media still worth it?
Being human in the digital age
In February, I ingested a flood dose of Ibogaine and had the most intense and profound psychedelic experience to date. In the middle of my big journey, a silly little thing popped up.
It was a TikTok.
I was irritated.
Wtf is a TikTok video doing in my sacred plant medicine journey?
The medicine promptly responded. Be careful what you put in your mind — everything stays. I felt mocked, but fairly so.
Over the next 24 hours, the medicine would go on to teach me the language of my heart. Hearing it required a quiet mind, I learned. A quiet mind would only arise in the absence of constant stimulation. The quality of your mind is a result of what you expose it to, and I’d been dumping 15-second videos into it. Hundreds and hundreds of them. Some were funny, a select few enlightening, most of them trash.
I wiped all social media off my phone as soon as I returned home and lived happily ever after.
Of course, the story doesn’t end here. I had a message to share (psychedelics are magical and can help humans and humanity), and TikTok had surpassed Google in traffic, it was the place to be on the internet. I’d built a community of over 100,000 — but it wasn’t a community, I came to realize, because TikTok is not a platform to nurture but grow. While reach is at the core of the algorithm, there is no way to reach those who follow me. A paradox that mirrors modern culture. Only growth. The only path is more.
Every time I take a break from social media, my mental health and creativity flourish. My first official break was over two years ago, in which I noticed 19 distinct positive changes. I rarely miss it, but then I’m reminded of the growth engine, and I feel a sense of duty to participate. I feel FOMO. Fear of missing out as a creator rather than a consumer. Every time I get back on, it only takes a few weeks for the bitter taste to return. I intuitively know that social media is blocking a process I’m deeply committed to. The process of becoming more present, more myself, more conscious.
The joys and detriments of (my) doom-scrolling
Not all social media is bad. I’ve learned a lot, especially on TikTok. But these days I’m mostly flooded with commission-eligible posts from all the creators I used to learn from or be entertained by. I can’t scroll for a few seconds without being bombarded with an ad, most of them “user-generated”, which makes them even harder to spot. The expansion of TikTok Shop has been the final straw, a tale of platform maturation in late-stage capitalism that we all know too well. Instagram used to be a place to keep up with friends, and now all it is is one big advertisement.
Social media has the potential to inspire, but the price you pay is high.
I’ve noticed several concerning changes that unquestionably correlate with my social media consumption. My attention span has reached an alarming low. My brain’s gotten used to the constant stream of quick dopamine hits. TikTok is addicting because it feels like you’re playing the lottery — maybe that next video will be the jackpot? Nope? Maybe the one after? I can’t watch TV anymore without reaching for my phone. Even if I try hard, my mind still dozes off every few minutes. It’s bored. It needs more stimulation. I’m unable to follow plots that would’ve made perfect sense to my 16-year-old brain. Social media has not only taken hours of my attention, it has taken my attention.
“I don’t have anything to say that can be neatly wrapped up in a caption,”
shares, and neither do I. The themes I’m dedicated to exploring don’t tend well to short-form. They require deep reflection.Every time I return to social media I do so with the intention to create more than I consume. This usually lasts a few weeks, and then the algorithms swallow me up. They swallow me up because there’s a part of me that wants to be swallowed up.
It’s a convenient escape from the everyday existential dread, a glimpse into the realms of possibilities — another person who made writing their job through social media! a quirky cottage core home! a super cool (but mostly redundant) kitchen appliance! other people living the snail girl lifestyle! YAY! Before I know it, the algorithm lures me into the extremes. It takes me from fellow snail girls to full-time “stay-at-home girlfriends” who advertise their Amazon purchases and home organization skills. In
’s words, I’m being hijacked by the algorithm.I spend much of my time reflecting on (my) purpose, an inherently inward process, yet social media never fails to drop me into the comparison trap. When I don’t know what to do with my life, I’m extra vulnerable to look towards others. Maybe I should be a SAHG (stay-at-home-girlfriend)? An online poet? Make ASMR videos? Start teaching yoga? And then I remember — ugh, I could never. I’m sure I’m not alone.
Social media is junk food: it feeds but never nourishes
The problem with social media is that it feeds parts of us that have been starving. It offers an antidote to the loneliness and disconnection that come with modern life, in which we’ve replaced tribal, communal living with single-family homes and individualism. It offers the illusion of connection, except it’s empty calories. Just like processed junk foods, it only makes us hungrier, every minute spent “connecting” via screens is taken from connecting in real life — with yourself and others. It prioritizes imitation over authentic creation, immediate over long-term rewards, all while training your brain to expect constant, rapid-fire dopamine hits.
We’ve gotten used to looking outside ourselves to fill the inner voids, to fill our hunger, and technology has happily stepped in with quick, free, and easily digestible snacks. A Happy Meal for your mind. What’s tricky is that it does soothe the discomfort temporarily, just as junk food will hit the spot and fill you up in the moment, only to make you feel yucky later. It alleviates the symptoms without addressing the root causes.
Rather than looking outside for solutions to our problems, the real journey is the one inward, which allows us to connect more authentically, create more freely, and live more purposefully. I’m increasingly skeptical that this journey is compatible with daily, extended use of social media.
It’s been encouraging to see creatives such as Marlee Grace abandon social media. Just like them, I’ve re-directed much of my time online to Substack. Unlike them, I’m still in the earlier stages of growing my community and question whether I can exercise the privilege to “opt-out”. But then I remind myself of my intention to prioritize inputs over outcomes, the journey over its results. I write for the joy and practice of it, anything else is the cherry on top.
Substack feels different, connections more authentic, comments more meaningful (and friendly!), and the content more reflected. It makes me hope for a new era of the internet, one that’s de-algorithmized. It’s the closest thing we have to blogs and chronological Instagram. Substack feeds my nostalgia in all the right ways.
It’s time for another break from social media (after being back for barely two months). Once again, I’m over it — or maybe, I’m just getting old. You’ll find me here, and in books, as I plan to redirect some of my newfound time to consuming the great arts (or, The Great British Baking Show).
What does your relationship with social media look like? How does it affect your journey of expanding your consciousness? Please share them with the community by adding a comment.
〰️
writes about how boring the Internet has become〰️ For a nudge to step away from social media watch The Social Dilemma
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fears for Gen Alpha〰️
and Glennon Doyle are wondering: Should we quit social media?〰️ This read on Hemingway’s life in Paris is the ultimate antithesis to life online
〰️ This meditation course helped me unplug and is starting again January 7
“Touching soul is easier when our minds are quiet.” - Bill Plotkin
Thank you Julia, for another brilliant, insightful, much needed article! Yes, I also believe psychedelics are magical and can have a transformative impact on humanity. I appreciate your efforts to bring sanity to the world.
And I also believe that we are over-stimulated by so-called social media. Our minds, hearts, and souls did not evolve for hurry, worry, and greed for more, that’s driven by late-stage capitalism.
smoking my crack-pipe
also known as a smartphone--
where did my soul go?
THANK YOU. This speaks to my soul. Everything you say here resonates so deeply, and I am only really active on LinkedIn. I deleted all the apps, including LinkedIn, from my phone,more than a year ago but still have FB and IG accounts and only use social media on my desktop. I considered getting into TikTok, but something stopped me (I suspect my wisest self). Since I've gone desktop only I've written a whole book. It's not finished, but it almost is. It is no coincidence.
This week I've been feeling discombobulated, and realised yesterday its because social media usage has crept back in. I tell myself 'it's my shit that makes it feel this way. I should be able to be in healthy relationship with it.' But to draw on your brilliant fast food metaphor, Big Macs aren't good for me. Period.
Your post has dropped into my inbox at the perfect time as I consider the year ahead - what serves my journey and what doesn't. The FOMO is real, and you voicing all of this, makes me feel less alone.
P.s. I believe I discovered you because you wrote a blog somewhere about how TikTok can help us grow on Substack. I love the magic in that it was that topic, that has led me to you and one of the best articles I have ever come across about the dark side of social media. I shall be sharing (via WhatsApp!) with friends :)