Connie's Journey: 3 Questions

A mom of six discovers the healing power of psychedelics thanks to a recreational trip turned "bad" & talks about the process of deconstructing old identities to make space for the birth of new ones

I’m so excited to share this month’s reader profile with all of you. Connie’s story is a beautiful reminder of why there are no “bad trips”, and illustrates how one challenging experience can catalyze healing beyond your imagination. Connie is a wife and mom of six who owns a little boutique in Nothern California. She’s passionate about sharing the healing magic of plant medicine and breathwork after witnessing profound shifts in her own life.

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How did you find your way to psychedelic medicine?

My first psychedelic experience was an experience that probably echoes many other people’s first experiences — a recreational psilocybin trip at a music festival. As I’d hoped, I felt an overall connection to what I call God and every life source around me including plants and animals. 

It wasn’t until six years later that I noticed the strong effect this plant medicine had as a healing modality. In the same setting, I decided to take psilocybin again. I was not prepared for what was to come. In what some would call a “bad trip” (I still to this day call it the worst, yet best trip of my life), I found myself bawling in a crowd of people waiting for a shuttle to leave the festival. I was so hysterical that one person even commented, “man she’s out of her mind”. It was an overwhelming flood of emotions that came from what seemed like out of the blue. Emotions I couldn’t control. But at that moment, I could hear something inside of me telling me I needed to let this go. “This, what is this!? What’s happening?” I questioned in absolute fear. 

I could feel all the pain I’d held in from ending my long-term relationship with my daughter’s father and fiancé six months prior. All the heartache and pain were coming face to face with me. Flashes of memories and feelings. Good and bad. All of it was right there at that moment and I was being told it was ok to let go. To let go of what was no longer serving me. To let go of the pain and heartache. To let go of the predetermined future I’d planned and fought so hard for.

After feeling this pain lift from my body, out through the many tears and loud cries, it was as if a hidden compartment had just been cleared out within me. Eventually, I was met with feelings of peace and understanding. Since then, I’ve carried those feelings with me. Psilocybin brought me deep healing and understanding that might have taken years to get—if I’d even gotten it at all.

This was the beginning of my journey using plant medicine for healing.

What are the biggest shifts psychedelic medicine has brought into your life?

Psychedelics have shifted the way I view myself, this world, and my place in it. They’ve allowed me to feel connected to something outside of myself. Something bigger. Something that accepts me and loves me for me. But through all my experiences, the biggest shifts came after sitting with mother Ayahuasca.

The two ceremonies in two days will forever be a marker — changing the course of my life. This experience healed a huge wound I had around being a mom and the love and acceptance I felt for myself as one. It also brought me a sense of strength and capability that I had never felt.

These shifts in my mental and emotional body manifested into even bigger shifts in my outer life. While most people purge during ceremony, for me the real purge began when I returned home. I began to pull away from things that robbed me of my energy and peace, such as drama or large crowds that didn’t have meaningful energy. I found myself investing more time into taking care of my mental and emotional well-being. Within three months after my experience, I ended my toxic relationship with alcohol — something I had used to cope with that just wasn’t serving me anymore. 

Since then, my life has completely changed. I finally have a true sense of love and respect for myself. My home life and relationships (those that I kept) are flourishing. And I’m finally chasing my dream of assisting people in bettering their lives through breathwork and psychedelics.

What's helped you most in your integration?

Integration is such a huge part of a journey with psychedelics. The experience you have is one that doesn’t just shift your perceptions. Psychedelics have the power, as stated above, to change your whole life. The medicine continues to work with you long after the session. This is why integration is so important. 

What I found the most helpful was finding a life coach. Someone that could help guide me through what I call the deconstruction of my former identity and birth of my new one. This was vital to my growth and I recommend everyone to work with someone knowledgeable after they’ve had a psychedelic experience. Someone who understands the process of integration. 

Other than that, give yourself time to rest. Not just physically but mentally as well. Start practicing breathwork and meditation. You don’t have to be good at it. It’s why they call it a practice. This will give your emotional and physical body time to rest and integrate. This process is so important in order to get the full benefit from your experience.

Inspired to share your own journey? Reply to this e-mail if you’re interested. I’m always keen to feature readers.